As I look back to the beginning days of Covid-19 and the shelter-in-place orders, I was anything but calm. My anxiety was at an all-time high, I took my temperature twice a day and I felt like I was on an emotional rollercoaster. This was before we had even seriously considered postponing our wedding; I was just in freakout mode regarding the global crisis in general. Add on the stress of the impending decisions we were going to have to make about our wedding, and I was a hot mess. A wine-drinking, non-showering, Google-obsessive hot mess to be more specific! I remember at some point early on, Ben, my fiancé, told me gently, in so many words, that it would probably be helpful if I figured out how to manage my stress a little better. God bless him, he was right.

As the days (that felt like months) trudged on, we started to realize that there was a good chance we would not be able to have our wedding that was planned for May 30th. My wedding invitation clients started emailing me saying the same thing, and most of the orders that were about to be printed were put on hold. I spent a lot of time Googling “postpone wedding covid may” and found plenty of news articles and blog posts by wedding industry folks. But because I am both a future bride and wedding invitations vendor, I think I have a unique perspective. The following are some tips based on our personal experience of how we dealt with postponing our wedding from May 30th, 2020 to August 31, 2020.

Keep Calm and Carry On Be Flexible

I remember when we first started planning our wedding, our month-of planner Alaina of Root + Gather Events, asked what three things mattered the most to us. I think it’s helpful to revisit that question, as well as see if anything has changed. What was important to us when we first started planning our wedding stayed the same: a fun and relaxing celebration with our family and friends in beautiful Colorado. What wasn’t on our original list but very quickly shot to the top was the health and safety of our guests. Obviously this is always something you want but this new global pandemic gave us a very different lens to view it through. While the situation itself was difficult, our new #1 priority made the decision to postpone our wedding a lot easier.

What we decided to postpone before we had even made a decision about the wedding was my bachelorette party scheduled for the weekend of April 17th. I was pretty bummed about this - a trip to Louisville with some of my best ladies was really something I was looking forward to. My sisters, who were planning the trip, quickly scheduled a zoom call for the same weekend and I have to say I had a blast at my virtual bachelorette party. I can’t take credit for this one but I do highly suggest that you celebrate the days that would have been, especially your original wedding date. I know some couples are actually getting married on their original day, which is awesome! We chose to postpone the ceremony, but I’m already planning something special on May 30th for just the two of us.

The biggest challenge we faced in moving our wedding was the day of the week it would fall on. Getting married on a Saturday is obviously ideal for many reasons, but as other couples quickly scrambled to reschedule their own weddings, we knew we'd have to be flexible. We loved our venue and its incredible owners, so we wanted to try our best to still have our wedding there this year. Between Woodlands being a very popular venue and the many other rescheduled weddings, our options were limited to Mondays and Thursdays. We rolled with it and said #mondayisthenewsunday! Deciding between a Monday or a Thursday is something I never thought I'd have to consider when planning a wedding. Since about 70% of our guest list is traveling from out of state, we figured they would have to take off a little bit less time with a Monday wedding. Now we can party all weekend long! (Which I think people will be raring to do!)

Communicate with Everyone Involved

There was a point when Ben and I were having a conversation every night about the fate of our wedding. It was usually over wine and ended with “ugh, let’s talk about something else!” THAT got to be a little much. :) But I do highly recommend being in touch with your guests and vendors as soon as you begin to consider changing your original plans.

Start to reach out to vendors to find out their policies and if they will let you postpone to a later date. Every single one of our vendors was kind and flexible, allowing us to transfer our deposits to a new date and not charging any rescheduling fees. The wedding industry has been hit hard by this, (myself included) but in the end your vendors want to reduce your stress and still help you with your special day. If you are postponing to next year, make sure you are aware of any increase in pricing that may occur. It may be frustrating to have to pay more, but try to remember that most wedding vendors are small businesses that are taking a massive hit this year.

In our case, our venue allowed us to choose a new date on April 18th, six weeks out from our original date. About two weeks before that, we were able to see their current availability so I took our top three dates (all Mondays!) and immediately emailed all of our vendors to see if they were available. At this point, I just wanted to be on top of everything because I knew other couples were postponing too and we needed to coordinate ten vendors for a new date! Once we reached April 18th, Woodlands sent us the calendar and luckily, we were able to pick a date that worked for us and all of our vendors. Since our new date was on a Monday, it was a lot easier to rebook everyone. (Another plus for a weekday wedding!)

We emailed our entire guest list three times throughout the process: once to let them know we were considering postponing, again to let them know we had officially postponed, and once more to let them know the new date. (Tracking down emails for over 100 households took some time but wasn’t impossible.) It felt like overkill, but with an already stressful time for literally everyone, we felt like keeping them updated was the least we could do. Our guests were very appreciative and many sent back really nice notes which lifted our spirits greatly. The final thing we sent was a “change the date” postcard in the mail, just to make sure we reached everyone. Most of my clients have opted to send a postcard in the mail too - it’s an easy way to make sure you’ve gotten in touch with all of your guests, even if you decide to email as well. Now also may be a good time to create a wedding website, if you hadn’t before. It’s the easiest way to keep everyone updated and on the same page during this uncertain time.

Keep Things in Perspective (But Allow Yourself to be Sad)

I am not that girl who has been planning her wedding since she was five. Honestly, it wasn’t until I met Ben that I knew I wanted to get married at all. The right person will do that sometimes. :) But there we were, just a few months away from our big day that we were really, truly excited about, and now a global pandemic was threatening to ruin it. I felt a range of emotions but mostly was putting them aside because I knew that in the big scheme of things, it was just a wedding. We had found each other, were safe and healthy, and that was what mattered. Having to push back our wedding three months honestly was just not that big of a deal compared to the struggles others were facing.

I remember the day we officially postponed. When I told my mom, she got a little teary eyed and asked if I was sad. I just told her that more than anything, we were relieved. We had been in limbo for weeks and now that we had a new date, we could just move forward. Turns out, I hadn’t really given myself the chance to feel sad. The day we found out what dates were available, I honestly didn’t really feel much of anything. My mom was anxious to find out and when I finally called her back to let her know the date we had hoped for was available, I was very short and cranky, rather than relieved and excited. I just wanted to get off the phone and not talk about wedding stuff anymore. I realized later that day when I started crying over something dumb, that I was actually really bummed we had to push our wedding back. So I journaled about it, a tool I turn to when something is on my mind. I wrote down everything that was making me feel sad, angry, confused and frustrated - and also everything I was grateful for, and felt such a weight lifted. It brought it all back into perspective.

You can feel sad that your wedding isn’t going to look how you planned and also feel grateful for everything you have as well as empathy for everyone who is suffering right now. Not giving yourself a chance to truly feel your feelings is going to weigh you down, that’s just the truth. Also, I had to look at the bright side… There was no way I was going to fit into my wedding dress on May 30th with my new #quarantinebod!

Hope for the Best (Plan for the Not So Best)

When Ben and I first started to consider postponing our wedding, it felt like everyone else involved was still in denial about its uncertain fate. Now as I look back, I realize they were just trying to stay positive and hopeful for us, which I totally appreciate. They were also correct in taking a “wait and see” approach, since every day we were learning new things about the virus and how far its implications would reach. Our wedding was still a little over two months away and I don’t think anyone truly understood what was to come.

I decided I couldn’t just blindly wait and see what was going to happen; I needed a plan B. So Ben and I started talking about our options, and I could feel myself relax. We continued to move forward cautiously, but with backup plans in place with most of our vendors. We were confident that if we needed to pivot, we would be ready.

Since our original date (May 30th) was a bit past all of the initial lockdowns and CDC guidelines, it was hard to know what the right decision was going to be. March and April weddings were canceled pretty much immediately, but plenty of people were already feeling nervous about their May and June dates. During this time, I was in the unique position of being in the wedding industry myself and I’m truly grateful for the conversations I’ve had with every single one of my clients. We weighed the odds together and they supported me just as much as I supported them. Our own vendors were open and supportive of us as well - I really thank can’t thank them enough.

If you are someone with a late summer or fall original wedding date, I know you’re probably feeling very antsy. It doesn’t feel right to change anything yet and the idea of postponing feels overwhelming. Just remember that you’re not in this alone. Thousands of weddings were either canceled or postponed this spring and early summer. Your vendors are being creative and figuring out ways to adjust future celebrations so that social distancing can be applied and your guests are safe. Speaking of your guests, they will understand and support your decisions.

If you are someone who postponed your spring wedding to the late summer or fall, you are now again in the “wait and see” phase. SO much has happened in the last two months and who is to say what the end of summer will bring. Your guess is as good as mine. I can say that we are very hopeful that we will have our August 31st wedding and get the chance to celebrate our now long-awaited nuptials with our family and friends. Will will be handing out masks and hand sanitizer as favors? Most likely. Do I have a backup plan if things get worse? Of course. Above all else, remember that while your wedding may not look like you planned it, #loveisnotcanceled.

Bonus: Hire Awesome Vendors

Obviously this one is a little after the fact, but I am so grateful for our vendors and feel lucky to have found all of them. Having been in the wedding industry, I was able to hire some of my friends, so there was already trust established. The ones I didn’t know previously have also blown me away with their patience, communication and flexibility. If you live in Colorado and lost some vendors because of a change of date, I highly recommend any of these amazing businesses!

Welcome Party: Goosetown Events | Welcome Party Caterer: Barbosa’s Barbecue

How We Postponed Our 2020 Wedding Due to Covid-19

Keep Calm and Carry On Be Flexible

Communicate with Everyone Involved

Keep Things in Perspective (But Allow Yourself to be Sad)

Hope for the Best (Plan for the Not So Best)

Bonus: Hire Awesome Vendors